You buy them books, teach them to read, and still they never learn

Why is it that problem employees are always a problem? I had a talk last week with one of mine that went something like this:

Knucklehead(my employee, an affectionate term)-My review is coming up in June, how much do you think I'm going to get?

Deej-Lets talk about that. Right now you have used all of you sick time, and all but 20 hours of you vacation time, and it's still April. In order to get at least an "acceptable" on your review, you have to get an "acceptable" in attendance, regardless of what you get in the other categories.

Knucklehead-I do more work when I'm here than anyone else on this shift.

Deej-Even if that's true, the companies policy states you must get an "acceptable in attendance to get a raise. Right now, you have that, but if you miss even one more day between now and your review, it will change that to a "needs improvement". This would mean little or no raise.

Knucklehead-I won't miss anymore, I need the money to bad.

Deej-Then there shouldn't be a problem.

Knucklehead- By the way, I need a vacation day for next Saturday, it's my girlfriends birthday.

Deej-That will take you down to 8 hours remaining for the year.

Knucklehead-I know, but I need it.

Deej, No one else has requested it, so you can have it. But remember 1 more call off, and not only will it affect your raise, but it will put you into a disciplinary position. No more misses, okay?

Knucklehead-okay.

What does he do???? Calls off the day before his vacation day. What a knucklehead.